cheekiness personified!

so i finally post...it wasnt fair that my name was in the contributors list without any contributions!;-) ...did u guys know that auto trips can be more adventurous than hiking on himalayas?....well being in the dramsoc of LSR gave me the "honour" of going to khadi gram and buying kurtas for the independence day street play ...(it was a full expense payed trip where the rs 50 auto fare were provided by the college!!!)...so we reach this red light and are surrounded by 3 'chintoo' beggars with not such 'chintoo' cheekiness... one of the 'innocent' chintoo who was so bechara, hungry, thirsty etc etc blah blah (read sarcasm) put his chintoo head on my friend misha's lap and touched her feet....believe me if that would have happened to me i would have screamed n shouted and dialed 100 but all misha did was laugh hysterically!!??!...aarti n me were drinking coke n nescafe frappe respectively ...so the 2nd chintoo decides he's thirsty and pesters aarti to give him some coke...
aarti :"isme zehar hai"
chintoo no.2 : "hum aapke liye zehar bhi pi lenge"!!!?!
now will the chintoo no.3 be left behind ...NO!!...he wants my frappe...i ignore him...i go on to take a sip of my beloved frappe when i hear "didi jhoota mat karo ...main jhoota nai peeta!!!"..now obviously we are scandalised n misha says "cmon green light"....so are cheeky chintoos start chanting "cmon red light"!!...whether its the blut slapping, stuff toy snatching at pvr saket or the "poor" auntiji with a fake baby all i can say is ...ITS THE AGE OF ADVANCEMENT of the beggar community! btw our auto driver drove at the speed of one km per hr ...almost all cycles overtook us barring one coz it stopped!woohooo....and v kept on bumping into another auto which was playing songs of 4th century b.c....wat FUN...
BTW, im posting this with immense risk coz i'll get blown up n shot at once suparna returns for writing such a bad blog entry ...you guys might never be able to see this entry aftr 2 days....i think she's coming back from her ancient history trip to bhopal, sanchi and
'BHIMBETEKA'-
1.a place where all tribes have a jhingalala dance at midnight and slap each other!
2.a name which i used to make fun of while studying archaeological heritage in class 10 history.
3.a place which either u have not heard of (poor history students) or you also like me made fun of the word.
4.a place with 100 possible pronounciations.

ohh...guys i have to tell you ...suparna is living in "wind and waves hotel "(its a special hotel for retarded children like suparna with an inbuilt amusement park) I have a feeling that like this post, i may also not exist after suparna comes....
May my last words be "JAI CHENGOZI!!!!!!"

Random reminiscences of admissions

Random Day 1: we reached north campus without anything eventful,unless u count me looking for a pink line in the metro which actually doesnt exist.Fortunately, madhavi had the brains to point out the correct 'yellow' line. A rickshaw at the metro station & we reach stephens.Since it was only 17th may, not many people around.Pretty uneventful day,shopped at janpath,I've found out maddy & dami have a secret fetish for clutchers and hairbands..

Random Day 2: 1st june..the great admission rush,first stop lsr. So we reached at lsr 45 mins before admission starts!! & the entrance is already packed. I do not understand why people have to get along 3 generations of their family with them just to buy an admission form, and well, the colour pink is really hot among the umm 'pinkies'? So the gate finally opens at 9:30 & people just rush inside the gate full speed as if there's a rule that the first 50 people to reach the admission counter will be able to get their next 7 generations admitted to lsr regardless of their percentage. At the admission counter, there's a buzz going on that the prospectus is for 200 bucks. A few cheeky aunties try to act oversmart and buy only the form but well, obviously that doesn't happen. They are turned back by an equally cheek clerk at the admission counter. Hah,serves you right. After buying forms, we just roam around the college. Its nice,with warm and inviting brick red buildings. Fortunately, madhavi's friend has already bought jmc forms so we decide to meet straight at gargi. We are in for a shock. Not only is there a huge traffic jam, which makes it impossible for the car to go forward, there's also an attack of behenji and monty brigade and yes, the new trend among pinkies is hawaiian hats.Shocking. Anyway, i spot madhavi's friend across the road and yell to grab his attention only to realise that my yell was rather a shriek & i attract rather weird looks from the surrounding people. Thankfully, we are also saved the torture of standing in a line to buy the OMR form. Ah,life's good, then on to to ansal plaza only to find that mcdonalds has run outta chocolate sauce.Conspiring world.

Random Day 3: Go to north campus to give the forms. Sumbit the forms at stephens & then go to kirori mal(doesnt the name sound like a hindi movie seth:) to submit omr form...the only issue is the conspiring conniving 'helpdesk' people who are around..more of a nuisance and less of a help..after hunting around for 5 mins we go to helpdesk chap to ask where does the omr form have to be submitted only to hear a counter-question of "madame,mein aapka form check kar sakta hoon" No, u cant.Then you'll ask for our phone numbers and call us up during election times to 'convince' us to vote for one of the good-for-nothing-student-organisations. Anyway, i'm not one those dumb people who don't understand that shading should not be a tick or a cross but in fact, just mere shading. So we reach the room which looks like it has furniture and fans from the 19th century. We proceed to the girls only line, only to see that there are boys in both boys and girls lines. People either do not understand english or they have sexual identity crisis. The man at the counter screams every 2 minutes.."is line mein boys nahi allowed hain"..then continues to accept the forms from these boys. Maybe he has gender identification crisis. After submitting them, we move out..the kmc gardens looks like it has a buffet going on..people with drinks,foods and forms..open for all :).. Little bit of roaming around the campus in rickshaws, spotting people we know. Caution: do not ever yell out from a rickshaw..the person you're callin will never hear..only people whom you don't know will turn back and give you extra-terristrial looks.

Random Day 4: History and pscyhology counselling at lsr..fairly uneventful, low turnout...pleasant seniors..madhavi finds her car-pool partner *thumbs up*

Random Day 5: Journalism entrance at lsr. The best part about lsr is they don't allow parents. They just watch their babies leave them and enter an unknown world( for gods sake, it's a small campus with signboards..your kids won't get lost!). Journalism entrance was fine. Madhavi and me finished within an hour. Still can't figure what those super-ability people whom we were seated with(you see, we were seated % wise:D) kept on rambling about. Go outside, only to be bombarded with queries of random parents about the tough-ness of the paper. Apparently, "ok" is not a suitable answer because they further question you on what does ok mean?!sigh.
Overall, a fun June:)..will post about other details later

Weird advertisements and extra-terristrial advertisers

Anyone who watches the channel ZOOM in the afternoon is surely guaranteed a laugh. Yes, I am referring to those sky shop ads which go on for about half an hour in an attempt to sell us products that will makes us look fairer, taller, slimmer and so on and so forth.

Advertisement 1: Roopamrit ..Yes,this one's to make us look fairer.It starts of with a firang looking aurat who has a highly indianised accent and the lips aren't even synced. They then go on to tell us the tale of some poor dark complexioned (or should i say unnecessary durt thopofied on the face such that the face and neck are too highly distinct colours!!) damsel in distress in a mahabharat-type setting. The girl is on the verge of womanhood, but she's dark and sigh,therefore she can't find a husband. Her father looks like some mahabharata ramayana hero (sheesh..mythology was never for me) complete with pearls,swords and a crown!! and after much thinking takes her to this pujari who grants her roopamrit or rather some out-of-the-world mixture made ONLY from weird-ass-herbs which probably don't even exist straight from the amazon forests!! (sheesh..that way shouldn't south american people be sparkly white) Soon after putting on the cream she miraculously becomes fair!! (or rather,the dirt is wiped off the face) and then of course,hundreds of suitors line up at their doorstep,she gets married and everyone lives happily ever after...and all this for "only" Rs.995 a bottle!!

Advertisement 2:Yoco height increaser....yes,as the name suggests this one guarantees to increase your height by few INCHES!! (lol..whatever happened to drinking a lot of milk in bachpan?!!?)So again the tale of a "sundar, susheel, gori, padhi-likhi ladki ladki" who unfortunately was not blessed by god with a good height and after being turned down by many potential husbands, she decided to take yoco height increaser. You see, yoco height increaser is made with special formula consisting of potassi-manganese biacarbonates sulphur dicoxides (don't care to correct me mini) in the lab (mind you, all this being told to you by the stereotypical mad-scientist kind of guy...complete with big white hair and all..only no broken specs) and one is supposed to rub them onto the sole of the foot and then wear shoes which are specially lined with some god-for-saken plastic.This is followed by testimonials of people who used this product and successfully increased their height by about 3-5 inches!! One which I particularly remember was the Rocky Vicky Monty type stud boy, complete with leather jacket and muscles whose only problem was that he was short and after using this product, "saari ladkiyan mujh par marti hain"!! (sigh, I would sooner apply the aforesaid mud on my face than date this guy). So, of course, the girl referred to at the beginning of the ad then uses this product, becomes tall, finds a husband and lives happily ever after..all this only for Rs.2000!! Lol..any takers?

Life as a cynophobic

Experience 1 : Our house in chandigarh,playing cricket in the lawn and the ball goes into the neighbour's house. Very boldly i go into the lawn only to have a cheeky ,white, ferocious dog running out towards me,baring his teeth in a life-threatening manner.Screaming my lungs out,i dropped the cricket ball there only rushed back into our house,dog running behind me.Ah!only managed to get back and close the gate with a second to spare.Yes, my cousins and me still continued to play cricket,the ball continues to go in their lawn.The only difference is i have never stepped into that house again. And for all those people who think dogs are cho-chweet and it must have been my fault, THAT dog did bite my cousin one day four years later.
Experience 2: At my friend's place.She suggests we go to the next door neighbour's place because i have to see their dalmatian puppy. Yes,the dalmatian was cute but i was treacherously deprived of the whole truth and i soon found out they also had 3 MORE dogs,and no,these were no puppies.Big,ferocious dogs,leaping up at me,trying to bite of my flesh and im just standing there,too stunned to even move or scream till their damn owner finally comes and apologises for letting them out.An apology?!?!Will that ever help me get over my fear of dogs?!?Was i conditioned for life?
Experience 3:Going to the sports complex with hemantika and we pass a house and there's a dog barking madly at us.Having the comfort of being at a distance from a dog since the house gate was closed,i just showed him my badminton racquet and barked back at him and moved at him.Little did we know that dogs also know how to open gates and he came running after us and i'm sure if barks could be translated into english language, he was surely saying,"so u just mocked at me,huh?"..and hemantika,being as scared as dogs as I am,started screaming in the middle of the road.I on the other hand,just took off and ran,the dog running behind me,with hemantika screaming hysterically behind me,"kutte ke samne bhage gi to woh tere peeche hi bhage ga".Fortunately,I managed to shake him off and hide in someone's stairs and after 5 minutes hemantika also caught up with me.Since that day, i haven't ever passed by that house with that mad dog.
Experience 4:Shubhi's dog,very rightly named Mischief, and whom i have been able to avoid all these years just scared the hell out of me today.I heard him barking and I immediately locked(yes lock,dogs can be clever) myself in the bathroom.Fortunately,her bathroom has a fan in it.So after sitting there for 15 minutes,during which Avani & Shubhi kept pleading with me to just come out once so that he could sniff me after which he would stop barking at me and that anyway they couldn't tie him all the while I was there.So I cautiously came out,gave him a forced smile and approached him ever-so-slowly when he jumped out of shubhi's lap and came tearing towards me and I,yes ran back to the bathroom with him barking his ass off right at the bathroom door waiting for his prey to come out so that he could feast on it.But no, I would rather sit in a bathroom than face mad dogs whose only objective in life is to bite me. And please,whoever came up with,"barking dogs seldom bite" was a LOSER.
And for all those idiots who still haven't figured it out, cynophobia is fear of dogs

Experiments(or rather disasters) in cooking

So im currently in boston,stayin with my brother at MIT on campus n since its nt really possible to eat outside food for 3 weeks at a stretch and my brother has gotten pretty much fed up with my food whims..he handed me over all the apparatus required for cookin n told me to do what i wanted to.

First,i expected to see 3 aloos(i would know since i bought them myself)..but i saw 5(hain?they multiplied!)they had tiny buds growin on them(na..wasnt fungus..though it was my first reaction eeks)and well it seemed amrikan aloo arent like indian aloos..left alone,they multiply?!?!.So i decided fry them n eat them french fry-ishtyle.but instead of fryin them i rather ehm-ehm burnt them.how is one supposed to make sure tht it doesnt get burnt while other are undercooked?sigh.so then i decide to fry gobi.n a bit deterred by my over cooked aloos..i ended up undercookin the gobi.now i have a mix of over cooked aloos n undercooked gobis.any takers?lol

Second,i decided to make rice at night.So i put evrything in the microwave and went off to fetch the dal.I came back,peeped inside the microwave but couldnt see anything.I thought the mirror must have gone hazy.Not until smoke started coming out of the microwave?!?!?...now here all the residents of the same floor share a hhuge common kitchen..and very stupidly,i asked a person next to me if it was normal behaviour for a microwave to emit smoke LOL..realisin the gravity of the situation,he stopped the microwave ,took out the tupperware..which had a hole at its bottom(yea it was tht burnt)..n my poor charred rice n mattar..lol..i had conveniently forgotten to put water.Brito.So he closed the kitchen door,opened the kitchen windows so that all the smoke gets out.Staring in bewilderment,still in a state of shock i asked him y was he doing all this to which he replied that the fire alarms here were extremely sensitive n i had alomst set them off(HAIN?!?!?...lol smoke witout fire...)N apparently if the housing committee find out coz of who they go off..tht person gets fined(haw)..Sheepishly smiling,i go outta the kitchen only to encounter another chinese fellow in the corridor who asks me,"is something burning?".sigh.yes.o well iv decided to stick to stuff like maggi in future.

Top 10 signs showing you have been spendin too much time online

Hehehe..jst figured these out...r u also sufferin from computer-obsessive-cum-online disorder?? lol
1) There are days when you type more than you speak
2) You accidently use phrases like "u" instead of 'you" n "wut" instead of "what" n so n so forth in your english papers..wut the heck even in other papers...its no longer limited to usin them in ur notes..
3) Your computer has the same sleeping hours as u...n after gettin up in the mornin..u switch on the comp first thing(ohk maybe second after goin to the loo)..wut the hell u dnt even switch em off sumtimes durin the nite..
4) Your life cums to a standstill when your electricity goes n u can no longer use the comp
5) By now, you kno everyone's online schedules..wut time they cum,how long they stay etc etc...n ur frds start tellin u their messenger list seems strangely empty when they dtn see u online like always..
6) Ur the first person to leave comments on ppl's blogs..check out their hi5 profiles(lol..or ne such innumerable no use sites)..or visit useless astrology sites etc etc
7) you hv started watchin all ur fav tv shows on the comp by downloadin them onto the comp
8) Unlike other ppl who are threatened that their phone n tv will be taken away from them if they get less marks..ur parents start threatenin you tht they'll get the net connection disconnected
9) bored.com no longer fascinates you..in fact u've explored all their sites..you've taken more than a 100 tickle tests..n now u type arbitary things as the site name such as nowhere.com
10) Ur readin this and thinking,"ah..this sounds like me"!!

ODE TO 12-R(batch of 2005-06)

haphazard memories of the past 2 yrs...our last 2 yrs in skool...as class 12-R....
ah gettin up one fine mornin n marchin off to Mrs. C's room at 8 in the morning rite after the assembly..coz she decides to "suspend" mallika n jai for bunkin the assembly!!..n all of us marchin with gr8 vigour to give a piece of our minds to mrs.c till we reach her room n we're all conveniently tongue-tied..n gettin to hear from definition of bunking?!?!?...n all of us cumin out smiling sheepishly n then we gettin to hear frm our dear class tcher, mrs.GR tht histry students shud hv had mroe sense!!?!?!..remember chandni??...n then earthquakeeeeee hehe...the mastermind of our very own dog-cum-chandigarh-luver ectomorphic girl(see i didnt rite anorexic..i kno u dnt like it:D)..n btw if u still dunno who im talkin about..were u dead these 2 yrs??..dhikaar haim tum par!!...yea so it was krittika's idea...n soo 9th period of our eco tcher mrs.RN..n suddenly at 1:30 after much deliberation krittika screams earthquake..n meets with a rather subdued response..till madhavi volunteers "yes mam my chair is moving"...n as a late reaction...we all get up...scrambling..screaming"BHAAAGO"..yes even angie!!....n renu shooing us bac in...n then actually strtin to get convinced tht there was an earthquake!!(hehe she actaully sat down on the chair herself)..."mam my table,my chair"..ah the ground is shakkkking lolss.poor renu...n then our class assembly..n "chalte chalte" which successfully made evry1 feel senti!..sigh n ALL u ppl who insisted on singin the same song on the last day ..23 dec..n not lettin us sing "jingle bells" BOO to u!!hmph...well goin bac to assembly n our "jaipur trip"..which we were connivingly deprived of by arguements like its too hot..its too expensive n blah.. o well...nvrmind....n then the chandni chowk heritage walk....wearin those weird pieces of clothes(wicch we referred to as skirts btw) to the fatehpur masjid..where our very own BJP-supporter,anti-congress,anti-sonia gandhi,anti-ppl of foreign origin holdin high posts..yes u gueesed it rite..jai..asked the imam offending questions about jihad??!!?..woopy...tht cud only cum frm him...
and then...playin hide-n-seek in hb block hehe ..n all of us invariably hidin in tht dark dingy room nxt to etishree's room..bad idea lol...and nehru park...the rugby(or shud i jst say runnin from one end of the lawn to another screamin at each other?)..with krittika n who as captains??..ah forgotten....n then kabaddi..n knights saints cavaliers...n hah madhavi wasnt able to pick up krittika!!..omg haw yaar haha...and rolling down tht slope..which seemed to give certain ppl(read shiva,avidha,damini,madhavi)..sum weird kinda happiness...n then making fun of eternally weird shyam sunder...who would invariably cum every monday test period...leaning horizontally against the door with one hand restin against the door and the other one on his side and in his ever so "hoarsely seductive" voice asking gowri,"madam aapko thread mil gaye hain"...and then takin us to hear sum lecture of his student(remem tht weirdo radio jockey..iv even forgotten his name:S) along with Q section n we cursin each other for being there in the first place itself...and the cat fights..ahh i still cant forget the one btw ishani n angie in 11th in the eco pd(this one totally took the cake)...and damini and ankita...n speaking of fights....shiva mockin shayla garg(or shud i say kannan jain?!?!) the ENTIRE year!!...with the "shayla shayla" song n hand movements to this song tht go like...~/"````"\~...umm i hope u got the picture heheh but im sure all of u must remember...and then the entire class throwin anirudh,shambhav n zain dirty looks as they cum after the pe period into RN's eco class ..totally drenched drowned in sweat and then acting as if thats the most normal thing on this planet..n speakin of eco classes..siddy-boi(sidhant) barking back at the dog outside in the slums behind our class!!..ah yup those same slums coz of which our classroom got those seemingly ugly green curtains which were probably 758 years old..n for all who didnt kno..those curtains were earlier put up in the f bloc staff room!!..how cheap..we dont even deserve a dhanka pair of curtains!?!?... n then sonia SINGING sally in the alley in the eng period?!!?...which was followed by..ehm..by certain attempts to write ehm..poems..n then telling sonia to shut up when she starts one of her sneezing-bouts(read psychology practical and socio board exam)...and speakin of socio...the entire 32 ppl studyin it cursin Mrs.RK n her sarcastic responses which i believe includes phrases like "u jackass" and "u jennyass" or "those who eat non veg..unka pet nahin kabristan hai"!!!(eeks..thnk god im a vegetarian and thnk god for nt takin socio)...and makin the soft-boards..which our class always ended makin the last..but the boards still rocked!!(sigh..i jst remembered a particularly weird incident when shiva threatened to put cellotape on my mouth if i dint shut up..n as i didnt..he actaully attempted to shut me up with a cellotape..haha bad attempt shiva!!...poor krittika..screamin tht she had no more cellotape present)..or running off to gossu's PA to borrow stationery...n speakin of gossu..who distributed us this weird sheet of paper(remem the slow n steady..fast n furious shitty stories)..n askin us to submit sumthin the next day...roamin around the oat(fidgeting with her sari while walking)..in the hope of catchin sum1 roaming around and screamin at them in her ever-so screechy voice while we "pretended" to go to our parallel classroom...which finally was the room on the 2nd floor..n its ac nvr worked:(...n confiscatin our cameras during our last days!!(n shyam sunder mistakin shyala for angie in the process)...and shiva,damini,shambhav, n ishan singin in the class...fightin over whether to switch the fan on or off..goin to "yoga class" in the beginning of class 12..with the funnily gay chap givin us instructions to "shwas andar li jiye..shwas bahar li jiye"...sendin the entire bunch of girls sittin there into fits of giggles...watchin movies down in the blossoms bloc...watchin moot court competitions organised by our self-proclaimed moot-courters..which finally got recognised into a society in 12th haha good for u ppl...and playin dare one day in class...when shambhav decided to strip ahem-ahem..n anirudh with tht incredibly weird extra-terristrial dance with those 1-2-1-2 kinda pelvic- thrusting moves n steps made by vir..n siddy-boi n vir lookin like girls in our class pic..wihch was further strengthened by the fact tht both were wearing stuff in their ears when i last saw them on eco board day..n then way bac in 11th..being accused of hiding kanchu manchu's shawl durin the monday test..whereas actually yamini of xii had done it ...n then investiture..if im not mistaken..we had 16 appointees frm our class? HAh did ne other class hv those many ?..ah i kno xii r rocked..luv u guys.these were an amazin 2 yrs.

yawn....sob story continues...

so...ma dear suppi(thats wat ever1 calls her lovingly!) has finally found a "kewl" way of venting out her anger,frustration n desperation(lol!).way to go gurl!now i am gonna give an account of our disasterous n preposterous eco paper!!well v got 1 week for preparing for eco...n i thot its gonna b a cakewalk....yea rite!i got bored....!!!i no it sounds crazy but its true!i got sick of studyin man!i mean dont these cbse idiots realise how much pain,anguish,torture n boredom we innocent kids havta face???at the end of the day, i was ready to puke on ma buks!!nd to add to ma miseries was ma tall n intelligent friend-suparna who practically drank in every word of every possible buk she cud find!!i mean literally "chatoed" all the buks.all i cud do was feel guilty that i havent dun this n that....!hehe...yea so..sumhow v managed to stay in sane condition during those 7 days..n then came the big "eco paper day".did i use the word "cakewalk"??yes i did...but very soon v had the cake walkin over us!the paper was horrid...n the damn 6marker of macro-eco sent chills down our spine!!hehe....u guessed it..the paper sucked big time!but v cunt help it...cbse ppl got an economics genius to set the paper...n v poor kids suffered!i mean the damn man/woman reversed the entire concept!that time i felt like putting his ass on fire!huh...looser!neways....ab kya karen...this happens only in india n that too the board!SUE U CBSE!!!